WIBTB if I didnt hang out with my older cousins because they depress me?

2021.10.23 07:37 Confuseasfuck WIBTB if I didnt hang out with my older cousins because they depress me?

Making a long story short.
My family is big and they are preparing to everyone travel to my grandpa's country house to a family meeting/christmas party.
So, my aunt who was planning the whole thing was separating everyone in categories, mainly putting all the adults in one house and all the kids in other
Now, if l went to the "adult" side, l'd be stuck with my older cousins and, if lm honest, even though l love them, they depress me to no end. Everything they talk about is either politics, marriage or how their lives are not going as they wanted and they cant keep a job and how their diploma were a waste of time and all that jazz, and if lm honest, my own mind is depressive enough without this 24/7 for 3 weeks straight.
There was a need for someone to stay with the younger ones - not that young, tbf, the youngest one is 12 - and l took that opportunity, mainly because they are not as depressing and they got a house with a pool, a bouncing castle and a lot of games. Which sounds genuinely fun and like something l need after the terrible 2 years l had.
But then my aunt, to "help me" decided to find a babysitter to stay with the kids, so l could enjoy my time with the rest of my family. Because she genuinely thinks sitting in a table full of drunk people discussing politics and eating stale fruitcake is more fun than eating chocolate in a bouncy castle.
I ended up telling her why l didnt want to do so, and she was actually pretty happy in letting me stay with them, but she couldnt resist telling my older cousins and uncles all about it and they got pretty mad about the wjole situation.
I have told them Im sorry, but they think that lm in the wrong for not wanting to hang out with them and that l should spend the christmas with them if lm truly sorry, but l really don't want to.
WIBTBF if l kept my original plan and didnt spend time with my older cousins because they kinda depress me?
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2021.10.23 07:37 AdditionalNews4177 Struggling with my faith

Hi all,
Please bear with me as my thoughts are all over the place! I’m a 21 year old woman from Australia, born into a Shia family. For a few years now I have been struggling with my deen. My family is very religous and so are my distant relatives, so naturally they all expect the same standards for me. However, I have been quietly grappling with my faith for a while now. I still fast, dress modestly, give charity- but deep down I know my connection and belief in God is low despite the fact that I’ve been too scared to admit that to myself. I don’t even pray anymore (physically writing that out makes me wince). I have anxiety and depression and have recently started taking anti depressants, as well as seeing a therapist regularly. This is all without the knowledge of my family who think my life is picture-perfect and dandy(although I’m starting to feel like they are catching on). I’ve started to practice being honest with my thoughts and feelings. I think, for a long time I was struggling because I lived in denial. I’ve had suicidal thoughts before and I was in denial of that honesty. I would suppress, run away, isolate because I didn’t want to admit that scary side of myself. Now I’m trying to be more honest with myself because it’s a very valid feeling to not want to exist sometimes when you’ve been subject to certain peoples unkindness. Mentally, I feel exhausted keeping this all to myself. I’m starting to think that maybe the majority of problems in my life owe it to my distance with Allah swt. When I was younger I would never miss a prayer, frankly I don’t know what changed. I feel horrible about what I’ve become; I feel like my younger self would be so disappointed that I’ve become the ‘Muslim by name’ that I used to detest. It feels wrong to seek help from God only when I’m struggling, but I’m hoping that I can start fresh. Any advice on how I can reconnect with the religion and get closer to Allah swt would be truly appreciated.
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